NO SLEEP

This week E has been goint o sleep VERY LATE 10:30-11 PM AND waking up at 4:30- Not sleeping very well because of it. It is all momma , momma, and Dear Husband has tried to help but only wants me. And of course she sleeps for like three hourse after I go to work.

So my goals as of yet, have not been worked on.
Feel guilty enough to blog about sleep.
And tired or not I still have to cook....
So tired yesterday I put extra salt in cookies and let E destroy the train set-TRACKS ARE EVERYWHERE.
Tonight tried to make mac and cheese from scratch. Ya, I don't like mac and cheese, it was good I guess...did I mention I don't like mac and cheese?
I made perfect betchemel sauce though!
Sigh just wanna sleep...I am gonna believe E's serious and wants night night now
-----off to dream!

Happy New Year!

I love New Years...always have. My birthday is coming up in just a few days and I have always seen January as a fresh start...the beginning of hope, dreams and possibilities. Its like Heavenly Father gives me a fresh slate every year and says...this year, dear daughter, you can be different. Even if the previous year was fabulous...which there have been many, I still love the fresh start. New calendar, new plans, new resolutions. And yes, I loved the beginning of the School year for the same reason.

My motto for the last few months came from a lovely lady from a show I watched who lost her entire family -even her newborn baby....
She said in a public speaking arena ...when everything seems to be going wrong, just know you can "choose differently"live life to the fullest! I was getting down on myself and my circumstances and all I could think was ..if SHE can pull herself up by her bootstraps, why in the heck can't you. So I wrote down the phrase and started resolutions early. Began this blog. Realized I needed to write to beget writing.
This is my exercise for my brain, but also because I have so much I want to say!
I promise to ramble, I promise to jump off topic, I promise to write. I have a story to tell, and to tell it well, I need to WRITE.
So I love January.
Resolutions
I resolve to walk or hopefully run a 5k this year. I know its crazy. Um, yeah, 1 mile is my limit right now. Sadly I hurt my knee this week, and have to wait to start walking/running again. But I will do this !
I resolve to write and enter 1 writing competition.
I resolve to get my scrapbooking in order and organise my photos-
I want to build my garden more and work on my house more, but these are more goals and dreams, not something I need to "resolve to do" I did it last year. I will do it this year....just hopefully better!
Today we celebrated E's 2nd birthday....sigh.......
She is not a baby anymore. She talks in full sentences, wants to be left alone sometimes and definitely has her own thoughts . She is so amazing and such a gift. I still look at her in wonder and awe. How is it possible I get to raise her. I know that she is a gift.
I looked at her newborn pics today. Oh, I remember those days. I miss the mewling of the newborn Eva... would I rewind? NEVER! I would not want to give up what I have now. She and I are becoming more attached in different ways. Its so exciting to take her places and see her wonder and the light just shine out of her. She can tell others what just happened and isn't that fun! Being a mother has been my forever gift.
We had family day at our house and celebrated my bday as well. I am so impressed with my mother in law's stamina! Even just doing speghetti and salad and appetizers for 15 people is..well exhausting.
When I cook, I always feel like I didn't get to visit enough. Now don't get me wrong, cooking for me is an extention of my love to others. I cook and love to cook. I love having others eat my food! The nurturer in me wants to and needs to feed others. I have always said that. Even when I was single I would cook for others. Many a single neighbor boy came to eat my food! Haha...I knew my friends from the moochers- friends stayed and helped clean up! Then played games for hours.
However, with our families' busy lives, there were no games played, as there were many other previous commitments.So I missed a little of the chit chat whilst I played hostess....Now I know why my mom in law looks so sad when we leave her house on fam day!
PS~ my food WAS delectable and scrumptious...my hot artichoke dip wins every time.
Well... that will be all for tonight...I feel repetition coming on! Til the next time! Go forth and "choose differently"!

Colds and Christmas

Why do I have to be sick AGAIN???????
I have been pumping up the volume of wellness awaredness, taking echinachea and 1000mg of Vitamin C, this time hitting that with zinc drops. I never forget the ever trust DAyquil, mucinex and my sore throat drops and spray. I have been drinking so much chamomile tea and honey, I had to get a new honey bear!
I have swabbed vicks on my body and nothing has kept me from getting a cold ...third time sick in a month. My immune system is way compromised.
My grandma swears I need more sleep. I would vote that I need more sleep- This week alone the most sleep I got in one day was six hours.....I love to sleep....but Eva has had a rough week too, she was running a high temp all Thursday.
Last night she only slept 4 hrs. We missed out on a lot of thingstoday, including my niece's first recital.
My husband says I am putting too much on my plate...doing too much. So I am trying to reduce the things and just relax today. I called my Primary Pres an told her to get me a sub....Nursery will have to miss me tomorrow.
I don't want to get those little guys sick or get sicker from being around them!
On the plus side....Christmas rolls forward in the Munger home...our gigantic tree is up and thanks to a new tree stand, not toppling over on me! Story when more awake!Its easily 8 feet tall...a record for Frank and me....my oh how pretty it is too....
I love all the lights and fairy tale ness that christmas decorating brings to our home....It defintely dresses up the nest and makes me feel even more cozy!!!
I am more ruminating that literary tonight.....but felt the excitement to be able to write, as E is sound asleep.
I know, I should be too....but its those few quiet bits of adult time alone that I just don't wanna give completely up.
However, I had thoughts and now sound like I am rambling; so soon I will be taking my stuffed up nose off to bed
Feeling really glad to have a reason to write again, and hoping that it will encourage the stories to come more easily.....mom's story needs to be told I know.
I just am afraid.
There. I said it.
why ? I have no clue. NO... it s
its not rejection I am afraid of....but I don't want to fail.
If you don't try you don't fail- what kind of weak spirited person doesn't try just so they don't fail?
cowardess. Wow....now I am solving my own issues! I never really thought it through before now.

But that is it!
NOT that it is good tht I figured it out. Cuz now, I just have one less excuse.
I gotta go to bed.
I need to rest up ....tomorrow I begin to write again.....

The beginning....

And so it begins...I blogged once before and the idea of strangers reading my thoughts freaked me out....now I can protect myself and my thoughts and eventually my hope is thaat the convience will get me writing and exercising my literary skills even while I sound off about well...everything.

So I sit here on my couch , my sleeping daughter in my lap, and await my husband's homecoming. I should be in bed. For that matter, so should my daughter.
How long can this last? The baby moments are fleeing before my eyes and I am holding on to every cuddly moment. Its quiet, with Christmas music playing softly in the background

Why do we hurry the process of our lives? Every moment has its precious times and we are so quick to try and hurry to the next step..are we enjoying the now? E has taught me to SLOW down. I have become a homebody,loving being and creating my home.....

Are we cozy in our nests? Or are we attempting to cram so much into our lives that are nests are stopping places for a quick shower, some sleep and leftover greasy take out in the fridge?

I love being home.....my love is home! Off to greet my sweetheart!