Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Mom

Mom died 4 years ago this Thursday. My life was profoundly interrupted and changed forever with the loss of my mother.
We didn't always get along. We didn't always agree, but I still remember the last time she held me in her arms.
She was sick from the cervical cancer that was missed because she didn't believe in doctors. She could no longer walk- the cancer had caused her legs to swell, her abdomen to swell, and her bowels to be incontinent. I was in charge of cleaning out the cath bag...and I had researched everything there is to know about end stage cancer- I was a good little "nurse". I stayed strong and didn't cry in front of her. I gave her her meds, changed her G-Tube dressing, and wiped her brow.
But this one night- a few nights before she passed, I just broke. I couldn't bear it. She was leaving me...and I knew the time was nigh.
She said Ruth Ann come here, so I came to her hospital bed- and she took my hand, and said come here...I said no,
Mom, I don't want to ...she said, "Come here !"and pulled and I sat on her bed and she pulled me down on top of her. She stroked my head and told me it was ok, as I sobbed. We told eachother we loved each other. We said goodbye.
We spoke of things sweet to my memory and too special to be shared in this blog.
I have since become a mother to my own daughter. I stroke her hair just like my mother did mine. I see the beautiful cycle of life that Heavenly Father gives us.
If your mom is still alive...grab her- hug her -and tell her you love her.
And if you are a woman- please get yearly gyn exams...save your life and continue to live to love those around you.

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I am passionate about oh so many things:give me something pretty to make be it a card,scrapbooking,craft,journal or food...I seek after these things...I want to nurture with the things I create...this blog is about my pretty little rubies...